The Rules of Society 

Men are required not to be emotional and to be the leaders by all means and that is probably why research has shown though women are more likely to get depressed, more men commit suicide ( 3.5 to 1). The men don’t want to seem weak by talking about their problems thus wallowing in it till the worst happens. Women are required by ‘society’ to not drink excessively, to dress ‘modestly’ and not to walk alone amongst others but research shows, 7.5 of every 10 women that has been raped, has been raped by someone they actually know as opposed to some stranger lurking in an alley. Society tries it’s best to lead people aright but in the end, it sometimes gives limitations on what can happen or should happen.

The situation below shows an example of how society sees things that are maybe not conventional.

‘Julie met Tom just after submitting her final project at university. They hit it off almost immediately. Tom was going to be entering his final year the next semester and Julie had just gotten her dream job in the same city so there was nothing holding them back from the relationship. Time went on and they got married. While Julie was working at her dream job and getting pay rises pretty regularly, Tom felt he had a shitty job and the pay didn’t exactly help how he felt about the job.

Julie got pregnant and subsequently had the baby. Now this child needed constant care due to health problems, they couldn’t afford a nanny just yet and felt one of them had to quit their job to be a full time stay at home parent. They had neither considered that an option or even had a talk about it before but now they had to decide and decide as soon as they could.

As expected, Tom knowing the most logical option, quit his job and became a full time ‘dad’. A lot of friends and family frowned upon this decision despite knowing the state of the family’s finances and who best it was to make things better all because Tom was the man and was expected to be the provider and not the nurturer.’

‘ Men are not meant to be emotional’

‘ Women are meant to be nurturing’

‘ Girls should not walk in dark alleys’

‘ Boys will be boys’

These are a few things ‘society’ has told us to do. We may act according to how we are expected to act but how about the way we really want to act? Men not being able to talk about their greatest issues because it’s not masculine to be emotional. A woman decides she does not want  marriage, has a very good job and perhaps a dog and is leaving a very happy life but she still gets sympathisers assuming she’s leaving a sad life because she isn’t married.

In recent times, we’ve come to the realisation that ‘society’ is really the cause of our worries. But then, we may ask ourselves, who really is society and how did they come around making the rules? Well, as much as it might be a shocker, WE are society. The people who occupy the world, we make our rules by looking down at a young boy who cries when he’s hurt or frowning at a girl who is into cars more than she is cooking or dolls. We make the rules even when we don’t realise it.

Now of course the rules of society are not all bad, hell without society, the world might be messed up but in the end, shouldn’t we leave in the type of world where judgment is left for only the Supreme Beings we believe in?

That’s just my two cents on society though, what do you think?


8 thoughts on “The Rules of Society 

  1. Insightful read. Society demands are necessary for order and categorization but those outliers who decide to act accordingly to their “spirit” are the brave ones. There’s a sense of freedom when you can balance societal expectations with your true self. Keep on being the real you on every rational level, as long as you are not stealing or hurting the next man. 😀

  2. In my opinion, the only reason these expectations from men by society hasn’t been shut down is because it works for them. If it didn’t they would have done away with them a long time ago. The truth is that these expectations fuel their sense of entitlement, they convince themselves that everything they enjoy as men is simply a reward for the hard rules society has set for them to live by. Even the benefits you think you enjoy as a woman, you enjoy simply because it benefits the man for you to enjoy it. Women didn’t get the short end of the stick, we didn’t get any end at all because men took the entire stick.

    Concerning, being emotional, i see men being emotional all time. I see anger, envy, lust, pride etc but society chalks all these up to “being a man” because it works for them. And about being weak, society is doing the same thing to women nowadays. You can’t browse through IG in peace anymore. You’ll most likely come across some BS that reads something like “You are a queen, Queens don’t crack. Or you are a queen, don’t let them see you cry or you are a queen, chin up girl, don’t let that crown slip”. Like **** you! I am double chinned, its hard to to “chin up”.

    And society isn’t the cause of our worries, men are. Prostitution? Men. Child trafficking? Men. Rape? Men. Kidnapping? Men. Previous wars? Men. Imminent war? Men. Terrorism? Men. Drugs? Men. Just name it, it all boils right down to men and their pesky little emotions that they allegedly aren’t allowed to show. Now while some women are guilty of the above, i fear it is simply because men are rubbing off on them.

    And Dare i say that the reason why men commit more suicide is because the average male commits more evil than the average female in a life time.

    1. I agree with your first paragraph men made the rules and obviously shaped them to favor them with entitlement. ALTHOUGH you cant 100% say that women play no part in enabling this rhetoric to still exist to this date. Surely that title of being branded “Less of a man” if you cannot perform some particular duties like provision and what not have to have come from some place. On a personal level I have experienced it and I find it very silly. Though you can’t blame people who are not exposed for still hanging on to their archaic beliefs.
      As I moved down your comment I am confused to think whether you actually believe what you wrote or it was just banter out of frustration because you sound extremely misandrist. Such views are the darker side to feminism and the reason as to why it is failing to achieve the levels its supposed to be at right now. Failure to actually debate facts and just resort to hurling bantering insults just doesn’t help anyone might just ease your mental frustration thats the best it can achieve I think. U learn from history that thats not the way to go about things to make progress. I would regard myself as a person who stands for equality but the problem is I do not relate with the feminist narrative on the media, even some feminists are divided because they don’t agree on those grounds.
      It is true men are very emotional. But there are very many kinds of emotions you mentioned pride envy jealousy but that wasnt what the writer was referring to with regards to suicide the blog is looking at the aspect of Sadness or depression. Frowned upon in society and peers for both the old school and new school way of thinking. For a man to open up to another person about his deepest darkest thoughts is viewed as emotional weakness and is not tolerated. Women have their girlfriends and sisters who they can open up to 100% and load off their burdens and it is viewed as normal socially. God forbid if a man has an emotional problem that he is depressing him and take it to anyone else be called weak whiny and all sorts of names depended on which side the insult is coming from (from the men or the women). Its a fact that we have to deal with the blog just talks about a surface problem but there are broader points to this. Men and women are both in the society with these rules that handicap them both from achieving equality.
      Dehumanization of the culprits of of all these evil things u mentioned trafficking rape etc is what society is doing wrong because that will never solve anything.Humanize them have sensible dialogues educate the ignorant engage with them to change the mindset is my belief

      1. Thank you for your comment. It is disheartening that someone is branded lesser simply because they have the audacity to seek help when the need arises. Each human irrespective of gender has a role to play, that role might and probably is not what society expects them to play but if they do what they want and not what is expected, they will surely excel.

        It is true men are the champions of most of the distress but then women who don’t want to learn and adapt bring down both women and men who have dare I say, ‘seen the light’, and are making strides to oppose society. I am still very much a feminist, against gender roles and hope one day, someone’s purpose in life would not be determined by the hormone that flows through them.

  3. Very insightful post. Everything you’ve said here couldn’t be said any better. Society’s rules haven’t only been detrimental to women, but also men. It’s these same rules that’s caused the downfall of many men and women alike. Looking forward to your next post!

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